I have been doing a lot of thinking this week.
my mission president asked me "are you living the gospel?"
I quickly responded Yes. At least, I am trying. I do believe I am trying. But I don't know if that "yes" was as sincere as it should have been. I have been studying and studying and studying the gospel. I feel like everyday this week has been "study the atonement" day haha. Sometimes I wonder If I will ever understand Him and His gospel. I know it's not that complicated, yet it's profoundly deep.
I have come to realize that yes, Trencin needs some one of strong strong faith.
But do you know what that means?
I too have to have that strong strong faith.
Elder Holland has talked about not being able to convert investigators past our own conversions.
Am I converted enough? Is my faith strong enough? I've been thinking about this over and over this week.
It's been a pretty deep week of self-reflection.
we serve because we love Him, and we learn to love Him because we serve.
I was reading in D&C 18 this morning about Oliver Cowdery and David Whitmer. The Lord was about to begin the early establishment of His church in the latter days. He needed Saints, he needed leaders, and He needed them quickly. He spoke to Oliver and David of seeking out those who will be willing to take upon the name of christ with "full purpose of heart" and then he told them to "search out the 12". He told them who to find and asked them to do it. And when they had found them, they were to show them "these things"which Christ had told unto them concerning the Gospel. Oliver Cowdery was no doubt, one of the elect. He was lead to the home of Joseph Smith and there he learned of the gospel and began his journey to become one of the early saints.
I have always felt a deep connection to the early saints of the church. I have deep pioneer ancestry, and I was privelaged a few years ago to visit many of the church History sights as I walked where these men walked. I stood in the place where the church was organized, prayed in the sacred grove, walked where Joseph walked, visited the susqehanna river where the priesthood was restored, travelled where those pioneers paved the trail with their blood, and many other places. I have seen the sacrifices, the faith, the courage, and the obedience necessary to build the kingdom of God. And while I was not there personally, I feel a deep connection to "they the builders of the nations"(as one of my favorite hymns calls them :P)
These men were men of Great faith. I admire and respect Joseph Smith and I have never seen myself in his shoes like I do now. We are building a foundation in Slovakia. This is a story of establishment. My dad, like Joseph Smith, was partial to the methodist faith". He joined the church when he was 16. My mother too suffered from Typhoid (though not as a young child), as did Joseph. And now I am priveleged, as was he, to build up the Lord's kingdom in a blessed nation.
Can't say I am an experienced builder by any means. When it comes to power tools, the most experience I've had is with hammers and nails. But I know I have different tools, and the necessary tools to do His will. Now if I could only find the blueprints ;)
I know I can talk with people. I've had to find people before in all the different organizations and groups I've ever been in.
I never thought all the things I did in high school and in college would prepare me for this; but they have.
I am grateful for Great leaders. Great leaders provide vision. I can't imagine the type of vision Joseph Smith received from our Father in Heaven. I know that I am here to build this branch. To help them have the vision of what is possible. I know that God is working with them. I think I am going to have to try and be really creative and bold to find those who will follow christ with "full purpose of heart" to build this branch.
Phew. So much to say to you all :)
About our wonderful investigator!
He is coming to the concert tuesday (wish us luck) and he invited us over to his home for the first time this thursday to teach him AND his wife. :D YES! Spoke to her on the phone and she is Great.
He doesn't understand why he needs to be baptized again. Were trying to help him understand. He sees that he was baptized in the name of christ, so doesn't it count? We explained authority but not sure he gets it yet. He struggles with understanding the book of mormon, but he read 12 chapters this week! and he has wonderful questions. Gah president I just love Him so much :D I want Him and His family to make it to the temple :D They are Great.
I have also been impressed this week by how messengers of God always use names when they speak with people. God called joseph "by name" so did Moroni, and other heavenly messengers when they appeared to Joseph. I think names have greater importance than we often realize. I could go into more depth on this... but we'll save that for a later time.
This week we had training in Bratislava! SOOO weird to go back to the city of our birth :D (sister Belibi Minya and I)! We got on a bus, and literally probably moved 30 feet and all the tires popped! Crazy. We had to hop off and BOOK it to the church building to make it to training on time. Phew. :) I love the excitement. The training was SOO Great. I just wish you could all meet the missionaries in this mission. They are special special spirits. So strong and so faithful. I learn a lot from them. Our mission president has asked us to raise our visions. To work with a sense of urgency and to looooove love love the people :)
we also had a singing disply in Zilna. First time to be there. It was a beautiful city. Slovakia is the most gorgeous place on earth I am convinced!
We got a new invesgator this week. She is 12 and she is soooo perfect. So perfect. We love her lots. Had a scary moment we were teaching their family, and their little baby knocked over a glass of really hot tea, burned himself really bad. Can't say I've ever had more screaming in the middle of a lesson about God and prayer before ;)
I have never felt more opposition in my entire mission than what we're facing right now in trencin. Must mean something big is about to happen :) I am excited. Love you all!! Keep up the good missionary work wherever you are!
Love Sister Kane
Love - sestra Kane
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